Mental Health

23 Aug

I don’t really go to deep into my personal life here. Mainly because I am an extremely private person ( well as private as a person can be with a public blog) and because there are some topics that I don’t want to burden my readers with. However, I think that it is important to share this….

Today I went and saw a therapist.

I have been having a hard time with my moms death lately. It is something that I don’t even talk with my friends or family about. So I decided to go and talk to someone.

After my mom died I immediately threw myself into a bad relationship and started focusing on work and him. I became a person I wasn’t happy with. I knew what I was doing with the emotionally unhealthy relationship, but it was easier to just focus on him and not deal with the grief I felt. Last month I finally decided I was done. Done being a person I didn’t like. Done focussing on someone who could never treat me how I needed to be treated. Done with Just existing and not living. I ended up cutting him out of my life and decided to start living.

It’s a constant struggle. I now have to face reality that I don’t have a mother. I can no longer avoid that. My therapist says I’m now in a period of delayed grief. But I am aware of what I did. Aware that I tried to hide this grief by ignoring it and focusing on an unhealthy relationship. Going to the therapist and talking to someone who didn’t have to tell me something tmake me feel better was refreshing. I told her about how I am going out and meeting people more and how I am trying to try new things. I told her how I am working on being the person I want to be. I opened up with her, and just talking about things, even though it was painful was ultimately worth it.

Ultimately I left her office with a feeling that the weight I had been carrying around had been lifted. I don’t think I will ever get over my moms death. It happened so suddenly and without warning, and I loved her so much. But this is something I needed to do. I need to be mentally healthy. This is my way of being mentally healthy. I have another appointment in two weeks.

I will admit that before I went I was afraid. I was afraid to make this post. Seeing a therapist would make me seem weak. However, not going just because of what people would think would have made me weak. This was something I needed to do, I couldn’t keep putting it on and pretending like I could handle it myself. I realized today that there is nothing wrong with talking to someone and asking for help doesn’t make you weak.

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3 Responses to “Mental Health”

  1. ShellyCoen August 23, 2012 at 9:37 pm #

    Well done Meg! There’s such a stigma with dealing with mental health. I’m prone to depression and have only been open about it with people very recently.
    A great tip I was given by a good friend here was to write things down. It helps to get your thought in order and I find that it’s easier to deal with them as a result.
    🙂

    • Meagan@TIL August 23, 2012 at 11:25 pm #

      Thanks Shelly. It wasn’t an easy post to write, to actually put it out there that i had to see someone because of my issues….but there is absolutely nothing wrong with having depression or emotional issues. You are right about the stigma. It shouldn’t be that way, especially in today’s society but it is still there. Oh and even though we might not be in the same country if you ever need anything you have my cell or email;)

      • ShellyCoen August 25, 2012 at 5:14 pm #

        Likewise! There’s always whatsapp 🙂

        We need to have a catch up soon x

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